Robin Hood and gang shut North gate for 4 hours

Robin Hood arrived at Faslane last Saturday with 50 supporters from his Merry Band of men and women, including Maid Marion and Little John, and succeeded in blocking the North Gate for over 4 hours. Blockader’s plaster of Paris and cement lock-ons baffled the sheriff’s men who weren’t quite sure what had hit them.

Despite a blown out tyre on the way to the base, Robin and his gang got there in fantastic time whilst the sheriff seemed to be still half asleep! Those not involved in the lock-on itself waved their banners and formed a make-shift samba band with whistles, spoons and tent poles, using the barriers at the gates as drums.

Fifteen of Robin’s men and women were taken off by the sheriff that morning, later to be released without charge.

£76 billion has been taken from the nuclear base and will soon be distributed amongst the poor.

The arrival of CIRCA, the rebel clown army, at about 9am was the cause of much amusement and kept Robin and the gang well entertained. A Palm Sunday protest at midday by some members of the Nottingham and Derby group led to two more arrests. Both have since been released without charge.